Assignment 8 - Rob Gilligan - Nothing to fear, but fear itself

Clowns, heights, public speaking. All scary, but not as scary as what I would consider to be my greatest fear: failure. That's no attempt to toot my own horn or say how hard I work, it's truly something I've struggled with in my life. My fear of failure often prevents me from taking risks, trying new things, and having confidence in general. This fear stems (I think) from a youth baseball team I played on from ages ten to twelve. I would often go up to the plate with a lump in my throat thinking I was afraid of getting hit by a pitch, However, I got hit a couple of times, realized it didn't hurt, but still went to bat afraid. I eventually realized what I was scared of was striking out a getting torn into by my coaches in the dugout. My self confidence plummeted in my years on that team, and I still have to remind myself often who I am. I used to thrive under pressure situations, but no longer. That team nearly prevented me from playing sports anymore. I was scared to even be on the field/court. It bled into my school and personal life as well. Over the past four years I remember to believe in my own abilities. It's often a difficult task I hoped would be aided by identifying the root of my problems. Sadly this is a fight I still wage. So when I say I'm afraid to fail, I really am terrified of what I may not be capable of.